I'll start from the beginning. I was born a babe just like you. I am the youngest of three boys, and I grew up in a Christian household under the best two parents you could ask for. I grew up going to church every sunday that I didn't have baseball or basketball games. I asked Jesus into my heart at a very young age. Honestly, I didn't really know what I was doing. But my two older brothers did it, so I did it. I wanted to be just like them. I never told them but I was often jealous of them, and I found myself dressing like them, talking like them, and acting like them. They are really cool guys, so they didn't really mind me being around.
Sports became a huge part of our lives at a very young age. We were always playing something. My dad was the classic All-American athlete and my mom the cheerleader. Sports is what really defined our family. I played baseball and football, but where I found my "thing" was in basketball. So I played through my childhood and into middle school. That's when a friend brought me out to track tryouts, Our plan was to run track to stay in shape. And we would tryout for the baseball team the following year.
Track turned out to grow into something I didn't expect. I won some races, and got asked to be on a club track team. We went to Nationals and the Junior Olympics, but I always had basketball on my mind. I wanted everyone to watch me play basketball. I wanted everyone to tell me how good I was. But out of all those people, the one person I wanted to please the most was my father. Everything I did was aimed at his approval. He told me he loved me and he was proud of me all the time, but I felt so much pressure to live up to his achievements. So I put all my energy into getting better at basketball in hopes that if I played in college, I might feel better about myself and what my dad thought about me.
I constantly had people coming up to me asking if I was going to be as good as my father. That's what fueled me. But I cannot stress enough that the pressure I felt was totally from myself. My father loved me, very much. He was fine with me just the way I was. It took me a long, long time to realize this. And in the meantime I turned to a number of things to try and relieve this extreme amount of pressure.
Most of my freshman and all of my sophomore years of high school were filled with chasing girls, drinking, smoking pot, playing basketball, and doing some occasional schoolwork. These things seemed to dull the pressure for a while. And my life was great, or so I thought.
I continued partying. But what I didn't realize was that my life was falling apart. In my mind I decided I would just party more to deal with all the crap. And everything just continued to get worse. It wasn't until I went to a bible study with a friend that it all came together. I had been grounded for smoking weed, the only place I was allowed to go was this bible study and that friends house. That guy had been my very best friend. If my phone had been taken away, people called him because they knew we would be together, and same for him. But I decided to take it personally one day when he told me he didn't approve of the girl I was dating. Looking back on it, I feel so selfish. I never thought about what he was trying to say. He was only looking out for me. And he never gave up on being my friend. He never stopped loving me. That's exactly what I wanted. That's exactly what I needed.
This bible study was called Campaigners, it was the wednesday bible study for Younglife. My experience with Younglife started my freshman year of high school. That best friend and I went to a Younglife Club that met at a senior girl's house. We were mainly going because we heard a lot of older cute girls went. We got there and hung around, danced, sang, and had a lot of fun. But at the end, one of the leaders got up and talked about this guy named Jesus. I was shocked at first because I thought this was a school sponsored thing (it's not), but I had heard it all before so I didn't really pay much attention to it. But we had a lot of fun so we continued to go.
Junior year rolled around and I was going to Younglife sometimes but not every Monday. That was about the time I realized how screwed up my life was. It seemed as if everything came crashing down on me all at once. I felt as if I couldn't escape this nightmare I had created. But soon after that, thanks to great friends and God's grace, I started to pay attention to this Jesus guy and what he had to offer that the leaders talked about. And at that Wednesday night bible study is where I finally found meaning in my empty life. It hit me like a ton of bricks, this was all part of God's plan for me. I couldn't believe it. The answer to all my pain and pressure was staring me right in the face, I just couldn't push away all the crap in my life to see it.
I finally realized that my father was proud of me. I no longer had to live in his shadow. I was in fact, free. Free to live, free to be happy, and most of all free to play basketball! I find so much more joy in playing the game I love because I'm no longer playing for me or my dad, I play for the glory of God. Each time I step on the floor I thank the Lord for enabling me to do so.
This carried into my everyday activities. Through bible studies with my closest friends, we began to go through what God's plan and will he has for each one of us. We finally found that purpose that so many of us seek. We find joy in our everyday lives because each moment has that same purpose. This is where we get to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. This is where we truly get to live.
-- "he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves." --Ephesians 1:5-6
-- "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" -- 2 Corinthians 5:17
I constantly had people coming up to me asking if I was going to be as good as my father. That's what fueled me. But I cannot stress enough that the pressure I felt was totally from myself. My father loved me, very much. He was fine with me just the way I was. It took me a long, long time to realize this. And in the meantime I turned to a number of things to try and relieve this extreme amount of pressure.
Most of my freshman and all of my sophomore years of high school were filled with chasing girls, drinking, smoking pot, playing basketball, and doing some occasional schoolwork. These things seemed to dull the pressure for a while. And my life was great, or so I thought.
I continued partying. But what I didn't realize was that my life was falling apart. In my mind I decided I would just party more to deal with all the crap. And everything just continued to get worse. It wasn't until I went to a bible study with a friend that it all came together. I had been grounded for smoking weed, the only place I was allowed to go was this bible study and that friends house. That guy had been my very best friend. If my phone had been taken away, people called him because they knew we would be together, and same for him. But I decided to take it personally one day when he told me he didn't approve of the girl I was dating. Looking back on it, I feel so selfish. I never thought about what he was trying to say. He was only looking out for me. And he never gave up on being my friend. He never stopped loving me. That's exactly what I wanted. That's exactly what I needed.
This bible study was called Campaigners, it was the wednesday bible study for Younglife. My experience with Younglife started my freshman year of high school. That best friend and I went to a Younglife Club that met at a senior girl's house. We were mainly going because we heard a lot of older cute girls went. We got there and hung around, danced, sang, and had a lot of fun. But at the end, one of the leaders got up and talked about this guy named Jesus. I was shocked at first because I thought this was a school sponsored thing (it's not), but I had heard it all before so I didn't really pay much attention to it. But we had a lot of fun so we continued to go.
Junior year rolled around and I was going to Younglife sometimes but not every Monday. That was about the time I realized how screwed up my life was. It seemed as if everything came crashing down on me all at once. I felt as if I couldn't escape this nightmare I had created. But soon after that, thanks to great friends and God's grace, I started to pay attention to this Jesus guy and what he had to offer that the leaders talked about. And at that Wednesday night bible study is where I finally found meaning in my empty life. It hit me like a ton of bricks, this was all part of God's plan for me. I couldn't believe it. The answer to all my pain and pressure was staring me right in the face, I just couldn't push away all the crap in my life to see it.
I finally realized that my father was proud of me. I no longer had to live in his shadow. I was in fact, free. Free to live, free to be happy, and most of all free to play basketball! I find so much more joy in playing the game I love because I'm no longer playing for me or my dad, I play for the glory of God. Each time I step on the floor I thank the Lord for enabling me to do so.
This carried into my everyday activities. Through bible studies with my closest friends, we began to go through what God's plan and will he has for each one of us. We finally found that purpose that so many of us seek. We find joy in our everyday lives because each moment has that same purpose. This is where we get to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. This is where we truly get to live.
-- "he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves." --Ephesians 1:5-6
-- "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" -- 2 Corinthians 5:17
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